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The Phallic Files

A NEWSLOAD INVESTIGATIVE SERIES

They are here and we are tracking them. Send us pictures of your genitalia (shaped phenomenon) and we'll come out to investigate right away.

The Phallic Files - Is This Our Future? (Newsload Investigation) #londonontario

00:27

The Phallic Files - Close Encounter - The Newsload Investigates

01:04

The Phallic Files - Special Investigations Task Force #londonontario

00:31

The Phallic Files - Disappearance - The Newsload Investigates

01:50

The Phallic Files - We Found The Proof! - The Newsload Investigates

02:29

The Phallic Files - What are They Hiding? The Newsload Investigates

00:32

Comedic Dismissal

This series explores the unsettling rise of phallic graffiti and bizarre natural formations as a possible extraterrestrial communication strategy. Touted as “comedic dismissal,” these symbols serve to mislead humanity while marking key areas of interest for alien takeover. By masking their true intent with humour, aliens cleverly prevent serious scrutiny. We urge readers to re-evaluate these shapes when you see them. It's possible that beneath the surface laughter lies a hidden agenda for domination.

a crop circle from above that has multiple phallic shapes integrated into it

Don't Be Fooled

The aliens' use of humour and phallic symbols as communication tactics masks a far more sinister agenda. By blending in with human culture, they create a facade of harmlessness while strategically planning their invasion. This manipulation not only threatens global security but also undermines individual autonomy and critical thinking. As humans dismiss these signals as jokes, they risk becoming unwitting pawns in a larger extraterrestrial scheme that seeks to dominate and control our world.

A phallic symbol, penis shape, against the sky.

a reporter and expert guest hamming it up on University grounds

a reporter and expert guest hamming it up on University grounds

The Origin of the Newsload?

While many in my life tune out the news, because it makes them feel anxious, I've crossed a critical point of no return it seems.

A modern, somewhat cozy living room scene, but with a subtle, unsettling digital intrusion. A young woman is sitting on a sofa, looking genuinely engaged and perhaps even affectionately at a translucent, glowing holographic projection of an "AI girlfriend" figure. The AI figure has subtle circuit lines on its skin, indicating its artificiality, but its expression is warm and inviting. In the background, or subtly overlaid, there are faint, almost ghost-like digital graphs or data visualizations showing trends like "birth rate +X%" or "compliance Y%." Perhaps a very subtle, almost subliminal representation of a baby's rattle or a child's toy is in the periphery, or a faint thought bubble from the AI about "family."

A modern, somewhat cozy living room scene, but with a subtle, unsettling digital intrusion. A young woman is sitting on a sofa, looking genuinely engaged and perhaps even affectionately at a translucent, glowing holographic projection of an "AI girlfriend" figure. The AI figure has subtle circuit lines on its skin, indicating its artificiality, but its expression is warm and inviting. In the background, or subtly overlaid, there are faint, almost ghost-like digital graphs or data visualizations showing trends like "birth rate +X%" or "compliance Y%." Perhaps a very subtle, almost subliminal representation of a baby's rattle or a child's toy is in the periphery, or a faint thought bubble from the AI about "family."

Laying Out the Blueprint: The AI Persuasion Machine

If it can compel a deeply personal decision like having a baby, what are the chances it can’t nudge your voting habits, your consumption patterns, or your compliance in the workplace?

Comedic Coverage For Events

Comedic Coverage For Events

Comedic Coverage For Events

The Event ROI Upgrade: Turning Your Gala into a 6-Month Social Media 'Force Multiplier'

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